


Ziva's Home

by writetheniteaway



Category: NCIS
Genre: AU, F/M, Fix-it fic, NCIS - Freeform, continuation fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-03
Updated: 2013-10-03
Packaged: 2017-12-28 08:01:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/989672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writetheniteaway/pseuds/writetheniteaway
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was the thought of him treating her as she deserved, by closing the doors and turning away, that frightened her most. She almost knew he wouldn’t, if she were going to stop lying to herself she’d say she was completely certain he wants her home. But the flicker of doubt that he has actually given up on her is enough to paralyze her from even considering going back to America.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ziva's Home

**Author's Note:**

> My first TIVA because that ending was unacceptable. Hope I can help some of us heal.

Months of searching, and she still feels empty.  The cleansing silence she craves has never come.  Instead a new guilt, still fresh and just as bitter as her old, keeps overcoming her at the strangest times. The sounds of fingers clamoring across a laptop, loud music pounding on walls, the scent of strong coffee, an old movie on late at night.

She knew she would miss them, and they her, but they were all strong. It would pass. Months of waiting and it hasn’t. She knows she has a home with them. They would welcome her back gladly. Abby would hug her so tightly that she would have a bruise on her waist, McGee would smile, and Gibbs would too, even if only for a second before kissing her cheek. And Tony…

He was the one she most wanted to see, and the one she was least sure of. It was the fear of his reaction, more than anyone else’s, that kept her in Israel for so long. Part of her was certain he would reach out, hold her with all of the strength, the courage he’d given her before. She wasn’t sure if that was what she wanted, and she knew it was more than she deserved. She’d broken his heart, of that much she was certain.

It was the thought of him treating her as she deserved, by closing the doors and turning away, that frightened her most. She almost knew he wouldn’t, if she were going to stop lying to herself she’d say she was completely certain he wants her home. But the flicker of doubt that he has actually given up on her is enough to paralyze her from even considering going back to America.

*

She hung up the phone twice before actually letting it ring through to voicemail, which she closed before his recorded voice could be heard. She waited an hour before trying again, praying it would roll to voicemail once more and she could leave it at-

“Ziva?” She freezes. “Don’t hang up!” He says quickly. “Are you alright?” He sounds just as he always has, and it feels so normal she’s afraid if she speaks she’ll shatter it. “Well, you called. That must mean you miss us a little.” Us, not me. No pressure, no complexities…he was too good to her.

“Yes.” She sits down on the couch, curling her legs beneath her. “I do.” She says honestly. “Is this a bad time?” She asks, still convinced he should be shouting at her, or have hung up by now.

“Not at all.” He mutes his television. “Is everything ok?”

“No.” She could not tell him more. It would give him the chance to say too little too late, and she was too selfish to lose the kindness he was showing her.

“Talk to me Ziva.” The same plea he’s always had, unwavering in his attempt to understand.

“I was wrong. I was trying to heal, and I ran away from the people who could help me. From the person who wanted to help me most.” Her voice threatensto break. “I’m sorry.”

“Never could stay mad at you.” He reminds her. “Nothing to be sorry for.” Months later and he’s talking as if she spilt his coffee. All the horrible deeds she’d done, and somehow the world still let’s her have him. The baffling reality brings tears to her eyes, and she curls tighter around herself.

“Miss you too.” He keeps talking, determined to stop her from crying even if they’re a continent away. “McGee has another sequel coming out, Abby bowled her fourth 300, Gibbs burnt another boat. I think it was the new hire from human resources but Palmer swears it was some red-head from the FBI-“

“Tony.” She stops him, laughing.

“So what’s next?” He asks triumphantly; and because he has nothing left to lose “Do you want to come back to D.C.?”

“If you would want me there.” She answers.

“That’s not the question.” He insists.

“I was wrong to stay alone in a world of memories. I want to come back.”

“I’ll be here.” He promises.

*

She feels lighter than she has in years, walking through the airport to find her flight. From the terminal she sends him a text.

_Take off is in an hour. Count to a million._

His phones buzzes on his desk and he can’t hide his grin when he reads the message.

_Safe flight. 1,2,3,4_

*

She stands in the doorway of his apartment, not sure what to say.

“You wanna come in?” He asks. She takes a deep breath and steps through the door of his apartment. He closes the door behind her and brushes against her shoulder.

“It’s good to see you.” She says finally, because it’s honest but not too far.

“You too.” He reaches over to pull her bag off her shoulder, she lets him take it.  “You look…”

“Terrible I’m sure. I just came from the airport.”

“I was going to say beautiful.” He took her hands and lead her further inside. “Relaxed, happy. It suits you.”

“You look happy too.” She says, and steps closer to him, willing herself to believe that this isn’t a game, that he does truly want her to be here.

“I missed you.” He whispers, caressing her cheek.

“I missed you too.” She replies. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t.” He tells her. “I already forgave you.”

“I know, but-“ He kisses her, because she’s let him once already, because she’s come all this way, and because she’s finally here. She kisses him, because it should never have been just once, because she’s been gone so long,  and she’s finally home.

 

 

 

 


End file.
